Magical Me: A Test on Gilderoy Lockhart
by Taryn Weasley
Summary: You know that test that Lockhart gave in the 2nd book? Well, here it is!! Chapter 4 is up!!!
1. Flobberworms have mavelous hidden powers

Author's note: This chapter was originally VERY hard to read, because of the formatting, so I fixed it!! And I fixed quite a few spelling errors that I missed..*blushes* Anyways, enjoy the new and improved chapter one!!  
  
Authors note: I've been having a bit of writing block with my other story, so I'm writing this one until I get inspiration. This story was inspired during Science class. (What, you expect me to actually pay attention to the muggle version of Potions?!?!?!) Things in { } are Hermione's thoughts. Author's notes are in (( )),  
  
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Magical Me, a test on Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
Name: Hermione Granger House: Gryffindor  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? Lilac {Hmmm. . .I wonder if mum would send me a few lilac head bands.?}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? To rid the world of evil, and market his own range of hair-care products {oooh, I hope he makes a range of hair products! One of them would be bound to help with my hair!!!!!}  
  
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? Banishing the Bandon Banshee using only a simple levitating charm {he is so wonderful-not even I could do that!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite animal? The unicorn {Oh, that just shows how sensitive he truly is!}  
  
How many times has Gilderoy Lockhart won the Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award? 5 {He should have won it every year. . .-_-}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's shoe size? 10 ½  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's preferred type of quill? A large peacock quill {I've seen his peacock quill, its truly marvelous! I wish I'd thought to buy one in Diagon Alley.}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book? Gadding With Ghouls, by Gilderoy Lockhart {That's my favorite too!! I simply loved it! All of his books are marvelous!}  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite author? Himself {Isn't it wonderful at how much self confidence he has!}  
  
Which was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book to write? Magical Me {Oh, that one was truly Magical! He has had such an interesting life so far!}  
  
How old is Gilderoy Lockhart? 38 {Oh, but he only looks 20! Hmm, I wonder if it would be wrong for a 12 year old and a 38 year old to get together. . .its only 26 years apart!}  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite relative? Rita Skeeter, his reporter cousin {Oh, I want to read some of her work sometime! She must be wonderfully kind!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's house elf named? Plunky {Oh, what a sweet name! I wonder if he named her?}  
  
What is the name of Gilderoy Lockhart's cat? Banshee Why did Gilderoy Lockhart choose this name? To remind himself of his heroic defeat of the Bandon Banshee {*Sigh*}  
  
Where is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite vacation spot? Paris {Oh, mine too!! My parents and I go there almost every summer. . .maybe I'll see him there sometime! *giggle giggle*}  
  
Where does Gilderoy Lockhart call home? London  
  
Where did Gilderoy Lockhart go to school? Hogwarts  
  
Which house was he in? Hufflepuff {He should have been a Gryffindor, he's marvelously heroic!}  
  
Which house does he feel he should have been in and why? Gryffindor, because he's very heroic and brave!! {So true. . .}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's name? Blondelle Lockhart {Hmmm, if she were to become my mother in law, do you think I could call her Blondie?}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's maiden name? Skeeter  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's father's name? Gilderoy Lockhart IV {I wonder how many people know that his name is really Gilderoy Lockhart I I I? Hmmm, that does sound dashing!}  
  
Who cuts Gilderoy Lockhart's hair? Plunky, his house elf {I wonder. . .maybe, if I asked Plunky nicely, she would give me a lock of his hair!!!!!}  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Greek god? Narcissus {Ok, so that's not really a god.but anybody could make that mistake!} ((hehe Narcissus was this guy who was madly in love with himself, and one day, as he stared at his reflection, he was cursed by the gods, and he got turned into a flower on the spot, so he could always admire himself. Very vain, Narcissus was!))  
  
Which is the most frightening magical creature, in Gilderoy Lockhart's opinion? None! Gilderoy Lockhart is brave and fearless! ((Except around Cornish Pixies. . .))  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's wand length? 11 ½ inches  
  
What type of wood is used in Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? rosewood  
  
What is the magical core of Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? a strand of flobber worm skin {Oh, but I'm sure flobber worms have some magnificent hidden powers!}  
  
What was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite school subject? Defense Against the Dark Arts {Oh, mine too!!! *gets a dreamy, far off look*}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite mode of travel? Broomstick, of course! {He hates floo powder. . .it musses up his hair!}  
  
What position does Gilderoy Lockhart play in Quidditch? Beater {Oh, he must have look marvelous in his Yellow Quidditch robes. . .yellow is such a wonderful color on him! ANY color is a wonderful color on him!}  
  
What broom model does Gilderoy Lockhart have? Nimbus 1500 {It may not be the best broom, but Lockhart loves it! I wonder if I could persuade Harry to trade in his 2000 for a 1500. . . . ?}  
  
Who was Gilderoy Lockhart's first love? Sally Brown {grrrrrr}  
  
What happened to Gilderoy Lockhart's true love? She was bitten by a vampire and now lives in Romania with no recollection of her past {On the one hand, HIS LOVE IS GONE!!! BWAHAHAHA! One the other, it caused him pain to lose her. . . .}  
  
What inspired Gilderoy Lockhart to dedicate his life to stopping the Dark Arts? The above story  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's natural hair color? Blonde! {That's a trick question. . . .on page 365 in Gadding With Ghouls, it clearly states that he takes pride in the fact that he has NEVER dyed his hair!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? Valentine's Day  
  
Why is this Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? Because he is a self described romantic {Oh, he is soooo romantic!! *sigh*}  
  
What strange feat can Gilderoy Lockhart do with his tongue? He can turn it upside down {Note to self: learn useless tongue tricks to impress Professor Lockhart}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite drink? Ogden's Old Fire Whiskey {Hmmm. . . .I wonder if they have a non-alcoholic version?}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite food? Scrambled dragon's eggs. {Well. That explains why Hagrid doesn't like him. . . . .}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite candy? Drooble's Best Blowing Gum  
  
What color are Gilderoy Lockhart's eyes? Aquamarine {I should know. . . .I stare deeply into them every day. . . .*sigh*}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Quidditch team? The Holyhead Harpies {Hmmm,I wonder if they have posters for that team. . . .}  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's idol? He doesn't have, or need one {How can he have an idol, when he's the most impressive wizard EVER?}  
  
What type of spell is Gilderoy Lockhart famous for? Memory Charms {Through out all his books, he gave memory charms to 429 muggles to keep them from remembering his heroic, magical feats!! I feel very sorry for them. . . .}  
  
In what town did Gilderoy Lockhart cure a werewolf? Wagga Wagga  
  
How tall is Gilderoy Lockhart? 6'2  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite music? Anything performed by The Weird Sisters. {They must be amazing. . .lets see what I can recall about them. . . There are three of them, I think. . .one of them was named. . .er, Beth? And another was. . .Tanya, or Taryn, or something like that. . .the last one was. . .oh, I give up! I'll look them up in the library during lunch!}  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's "#1 fan"? Gladys Gudgeon {No, I AM! NOT STUPID GLADYS, ME!!!}  
  
What I Gilderoy Lockhart's ideal Saturday night? Volunteering at St. Mungo's {Awwwwwww}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's most prized possession? His gold edged mirror  
  
When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be? His birthday is July 17 {rats, its not during the school year..} and his ideal gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic people {How sweet!} although, he states that he wouldn't say no to a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ Author's Note: What do you think?? PLEASE review!! Next up is Harry's, which should be a bit more funny, as he's guessing on nearly everything. 


	2. Author's note

Authors Note: Hey you guys! Thanks for the reviews, you guys make me feel special ^_^ Anyways, I'm kind of new to fanfiction.net, and I, erm, kind of have no idea how to format it so it looks good. If someone one could email me how to do it, then I'll re-post Hermione's and post Harry's. Oh, and I don't know why, but whenever I upload a story, if I have more than one of something (like periods) it deletes all the extra ones. So, if someone could tell me how to fix that too, that would be great! Because it was supposed to be Gilderoy Lockhart the third, not the first. grr.  
  
Jimena: I'm glad you liked it, I'm only here to please ^_^  
  
SlytherinAtHeart: Hmmm, Draco Malfoy's test..that would be interesting..*evil laugh*  
  
Kassiedi: Hehe, Harry's and Ron's should be even more funny than Hermione's..especially Ron's:-D  
  
Reignbow: Hehe, luv your little "pink cloud" thing. And its nice to know that you think its nauseating! I try, I try :-P Oh, and I love your name!  
  
Jamie: Yeah, the spacing sucks..I'm working on it!!! Oh, and the whole roman numerals thing is explained above :-P And yes, Hermione DOES find out about the House Elves in book 4, but its hard to stay perfectly with the book! I'm glad you liked the Rita Skeeter bit, that's one of my fave parts :-D! I figured that the 2 most annoying characters in the book should be related somehow! And yeah, my Narcissus thing was shortened a bit *blushes* sorry :'( Greek Mythology IS fun! We're studying it in Social Studies, and as soon as I heard that story, I thought "Lockhart!"  
  
koneko : Glad ya like it, I'll update ASAP!!  
  
Buckbeakbabie: hehe, I'm glad you like it! Oooh, I'd better put Harry's test up, I want that long rambly review you promised me!  
  
Bmw: I'm glad you liked it!!!!  
  
Author's (other) note: With my luck, all of the notes up there are gonna be all squished together. Oh well. Oh, and check out my other story, Muggle Studies! I promise its good, and I'm not going to update it until I get 10 reviews!! Bye, I'll update my next chapter as soon as one of you tells me how to format it!! 


	3. WHY DOES HERMIONE KEEP GIGGLING?

Authors note: Yay, I think I figured out how to make the formatting better! Yay! Things in { } are Harry's thoughts. Author's notes are in (( )). Oh, and for the correct answers, refer back to love sick little 'Mione's test! Oh, and last time I forgot a disclaimer so. . . .  
  
Disclaimer: I, sadly, am not JK Rowling. If I was, I would be working on the highly anticipated 5th book, not fanfiction.  
  
Magical Me, a test on Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
Name: Harry Potter  
  
House: Gryffindor  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? {Uhh. . .favorite color? I dunno. . . Well, he's wearing green robes, I'll put that} Green  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? {To kill me, so he'll be the most famous guy around. . . no, that's not it. . . .} To kill evil things  
  
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? {Well, seeing who we're talking about, I'd have to say the fact that his undersized brain can actually get him to talk so much. . .I'd only expect him to grunt and wave his arms around. . . but he won't like that much if I put that down. . .uh, one of his books is called Gadding with Ghouls. . .?} Being able to talk with Ghouls  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite animal? {Er. . . well. . . .} Nifflers  
  
How many times has Gilderoy Lockhart won the Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award? {Is there really such award? That's kind of stupid. . . } Once  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's shoe size? {What kind of a bloody question is that? What kind of a bloody test is this? AND WHY DOES HERMIONE KEEP GIGGLING, ITS DRIVING ME MAD!} 12  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's preferred type of quill? {He has a favorite quill? This man really needs a life. . . .} an eagle feather quill  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book? {He can read? I wouldn't've put it past him. . . .} Quidditch through the Ages  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite author? {Well, he's really vain. . . .it's probably himself. . . } Himself  
  
Which was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book to write? {Well, the only title I can remember is Gadding With Ghouls. . . } Gadding With Ghouls  
  
How old is Gilderoy Lockhart? {I dunno, 40?} 42  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite relative? {He's the spawn of Voldemort, I swear. . . I wonder if he'd mind if I put down that name? Yeah, he probably would. . . } His grandmother  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's house elf named? {What on earth is a house elf????} Herman  
  
What is the name of Gilderoy Lockhart's cat? {Errrr. . . .Well, I don't think it would be a very original name, he's too thick to think up a good one himself. . . } Tiger  
  
Why did Gilderoy Lockhart choose this name? {Because he's too thick to think up something on his own. . . . .} Because his cat is orange, like a tiger  
  
Where is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite vacation spot? {Anywhere with a mirror. . .} The United States  
  
Where does Gilderoy Lockhart call home? {Well, he has a British accent. . . .SO I'd be safe to guess London} London  
  
Where did Gilderoy Lockhart go to school? {Are there even any other wizarding schools? Note to self: ask Hermione} Hogwarts  
  
Which house was he in? {I truly think he was in Hufflepuff. . . but would he be offended if I put that? Because, seriously, he isn't smart enough for Ravenclaw, he's to, I dunno, Gilderoy Lockhart-ish for Slytherin, and if he were in Gryffindor, I'll trade in my wand for a mop, and take over Filch's job. . .} Hufflepuff  
  
Which house does he feel he should have been in and why? {Well, HE would think he were in the best house of them all, Gryffindor! I mean, he sure think he's brave and heroic and stuff. . .} Gryffindor, because he's so brave and heroic. . . {Note the sarcasm oozing out of my quill. . .}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's name? {Again, he's the spawn of Voldemort} Linda  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's maiden name? {Probably Lockhart, he seems like an in-bred child. . . .} Smith  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's father's name? {errr. . . . . . . . . . .} Bob  
  
Who cuts Gilderoy Lockhart's hair? Uh, the barber. . . .  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Greek god? {Greek Mythology? He thinks I know anything about Greek Mythology? Ha!! The only thing I know about it is that this guy named. . . Zeus, I think, was the top- dog} Zeus  
  
Which is the most frightening magical creature, in Gilderoy Lockhart's opinion? {Um. . .well, the most frightening creature I'VE ever encountered was a giant three headed dog. . . . but he's probably never come across one..} Werewolf  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's wand length? {Hmmm. . . .I can just see it on his desk from here. . . .it looks to be about. . .} 13 inches  
  
What type of wood is used in Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? Oak  
  
What is the magical core of Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? {Er. . . .} dragon heart string  
  
What was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite school subject? {Well, he IS the DADA professor. . . .} Defense Against the Dark Arts  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite mode of travel? {Ok, what magical modes of travel do I know of? Broomstick. . . . .Illegal flying cars. . . . Floo powder. . . .the Hogwarts Express. . . .Um, he's odd, I guess he'd like Floo powder} Floo Powder  
  
What position does Gilderoy Lockhart play in Quidditch? {HE plays Quidditch?? Eurg! Well, I don't believe it. . . . } Chaser  
  
What broom model does Gilderoy Lockhart have? {Knowing him, he has the best money can buy. . . .} Nimbus 2001  
  
Who was Gilderoy Lockhart's first love? {Uhh. . . . .he had a first love? I feel sorry for the girl. . . .uh. . . .what's a nice, random name?} Lindsay  
  
What happened to Gilderoy Lockhart's true love? She. . . .died in a nasty broomstick collision while trying to save 3 children from a rampaging mountain troll {Random. . . .}  
  
What inspired Gilderoy Lockhart to dedicate his life to stopping the Dark Arts? {Er. . . .} A werewolf {erm. . . .} killing his {uhh. . . } aunt  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's natural hair color? {Do I look like I care? Honestly, this is the biggest load of rubbish. . .} Brown  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? {Er. . . .let me think. . . .ARG, my concentration is yet again being disrupted by Hermione's giggling? WHY do girls giggle? Its soooo annoying!} Christmas  
  
Why is this Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? {Because it's EVERYONE'S favorite holiday. . . .} Because it gives him a chance to give to the poor people of the wizarding world  
  
What strange feat can Gilderoy Lockhart do with his tongue? {I don't even want to answer that, I'll just leave it blank, thank you. . . . . . . . } I dunno  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite drink? Pumpkin juice  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite food? {This is ridiculous. . . . .} Peanut butter and honey sandwiches  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite candy? Chocolate Frogs {Mmmmmm. . . . *drools, and gets an odd look from Hermione*}  
  
What color are Gilderoy Lockhart's eyes? {*sarcastically} Yeah, I should know, because I gaze longingly into them every day. . . .} Brown  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Quidditch team? {Well, let's see. . . . BLIMEY, I ONLY KNOW OF ONE QUIDDITCH TEAM! THE CANNONS! What kind of a Quidditch fan am I???} The Chudley Cannons  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's idol? {Himself. . . . . .he's so full of himself. . . .} Albus Dumbledore  
  
What type of spell is Gilderoy Lockhart famous for? {Uh. . .well. . . .he's famous for. . .} A stunning spell  
  
In what town did Gilderoy Lockhart cure a werewolf? {What town? How in the world am I supposed to know that?} Paris  
  
How tall is Gilderoy Lockhart? {Uh. . . .I'll make an estimate. . . } 6'  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite music? {Um. . . .I dunno about wizarding music. . . . . .} I dunno  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's "#1 fan"? {What kind of a question is that? Uh, I'd guess Hermione. . . .or Mrs. Weasley. . .} Molly Weasley {Hey, it's worth a try. . . }  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's ideal Saturday night? {Gazing lovingly at his reflection} watching movies at home {pretty lame guess, I suppose. . .}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's most prized possession? {Probably a mirror of some kind. . .hehe} his sneak-o-scope  
  
When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be? His birthday is {uh. . . . .} January 27th and his ideal gift would be {a mirror. . . . .} a watch  
Author's Note: What do you think?? PLEASE review!! Next up is Ron's.its going to be the best one! Oh, and my friend Beth accidently reviewed the story under my name, so just ignore that. . . she's a little confused 


	4. He's a Squib, I tell you!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, anything you recognize from the books are JK's, anything you don't recognize, or recogise from earlier chapters are mine, yada, yada, yada  
  
Author's note: Anything in {} are Roniekin's thoughts, anything in (()) are AN's  
  
Magical Me, a test on Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
{Woah, I just read through the test. . . What a load of rubbish! What was Lock-jaw thinking? What kind of a bloody question is 'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's shoe size'? Honestly, I don't know the answer to any of these. . .oh well, I might as well have a bit of fun with this, then!}  
  
Name: Ben Dover {Hahaha, he probably won't even get it, he's so thick. . .}  
  
House: Slytherin {If he realizes this test is making fun of him, maybe he'll take away some points!}  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? Hot pink  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? To quote a famous muggle movie: "If I only had a brain!" {wow, I neer thought I'd be happy that dad made us watch that boring movie, The Wizard of Oz. . . }  
  
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? Learning to walk up right  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite animal? Fluffy, white bunny rabbits {Hehehe}  
  
How many times has Gilderoy Lockhart won the Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award? Never..the stupid git's smile strikes terror into the souls of witches and wizards everywhere {Oh, that's got to make him mad}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's shoe size? 78 1/2  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's preferred type of quill? A chicken feather quill  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book? He doesn't have one, he can't read!  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite author? See above  
  
Which was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book to write? He writes books?!?!?!  
  
How old is Gilderoy Lockhart? 78  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite relative? He's so vain, the only person related to him that he likes is, well, him!  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's house elf named? He doesn't have a house elf, no elf alive would be able to be with that idiot  
  
What is the name of Gilderoy Lockhart's cat? Lockhartisabloodygit {Hey, that name has a ring too it..too bad Scabber's already has a name...}  
  
Why did Gilderoy Lockhart choose this name? Because its true!  
  
Where is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite vacation spot? Dublin, Ohio, USA {Dad, says its really boring there..}  
  
Where does Gilderoy Lockhart call home? St. Mungo's insanity ward (hahahahaha, I crack myself up sometimes!}  
  
Where did Gilderoy Lockhart go to school? He didn't go to school..he's a squib, and learned to do proper magic with a Quickspell course...not that he actually learned proper magic..{*wipes a tear of myrth away* if only I could give credit to myself for this test}  
  
Which house was he in? He wasn't in a house..  
  
Which house does he feel he should have been in and why? Hufflepuff, because he's the stupidest, dumbest person I've ever come across in all my years at Hogwarts! {Ok, so I've only been here one year..maybe he'll think this is an older kid's test. . .}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's name? Boberella Lockhart  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's maiden name? Lockhart  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's father's name? Jo  
  
Who cuts Gilderoy Lockhart's hair? By the looks of it, he sticks his head in a muggle blender. . .  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Greek god? Hades, god of the underworld.  
  
Which is the most frightening magical creature, in Gilderoy Lockhart's opinion? Cornish Pixies ((OK, so Ron doesn't know Lockhart can't handle pixies yet, but oh well. . .just use your wonderful imaginations!))  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's wand length? About an inch and a half. . . it looks more like a toothpick than a wand, though. . .maybe your wand size is determined on how well you can do magic!  
  
What type of wood is used in Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? Well, they actually didn't use wood, they used plastic, but its painted to look like wood!  
  
What is the magical core of Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? His wand was too small for a core  
  
What was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite school subject? Divination {Fred and George told me that Divination is the biggest load of @%#* they've ever seen.}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite mode of travel? Usually he travels in the back of a muggle please-man's car, handcuffed. . .  
  
What position does Gilderoy Lockhart play in Quidditch? Scorekeeper. He has no talent on the Quidditch field.  
  
What broom model does Gilderoy Lockhart have? A Shooting Star {So what if I have one too? It's the worst model I could think of.*scowls*}  
  
Who was Gilderoy Lockhart's first love? A rock named Loise  
  
What happened to Gilderoy Lockhart's true love? He accidently ate her  
  
What inspired Gilderoy Lockhart to dedicate his life to stopping the Dark Arts? Well, its not like he actually does much of anything to stop the Dark Arts. . .  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's natural hair color? Gray. . .he dyes it every other week  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? I dunno about his FAVORITE holiday, but his LEAST favorite holiday is April Fool's day  
  
Why is this Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? Well, again, I don't know about his favorite, but its his least favorite because he's such a gullible, prankable git  
  
What strange feat can Gilderoy Lockhart do with his tongue? Well, he [FOUND INNAPROPRIATE, CENSORED BY AUTHOR] ((I'll leave that one up to your imaginations, thanks. . .))  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite drink? Blood. He's really a vampire in disguise ((Oooooh, dis!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite food? Human flesh. He is also a cannibal! {I wouldn't be surprised if that was true. . .}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite candy? It's a three way tie between vomit-flavored, bogey-flavored, and ear wax-flavored Bertie Botts Every Flavor beans. But he's also especially partial to cockroach clusters!  
  
What color are Gilderoy Lockhart's eyes? Red, he's evil  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Quidditch team? He doesn't like Quidditch, he prefers reading. {It's a good thing 'Mione can't read this. . . she'd have a fit, telling me off for making reading sound stupid. . .} ((I, by the way, don't feel the same way as Ron.reading rules!))  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's idol? Colin Creevey. He thinks he's awesome. {Hahaha, Colin Creevey is so annoying.he and Ginny'll be starting a 'Harry Potter Fan Club' any day now. . .}  
  
What type of spell is Gilderoy Lockhart famous for? He can't do magic all that much, he's a Squib  
  
In what town did Gilderoy Lockhart cure a werewolf? The name og the town is: Thereisnosuchtown {*snickers, and gets a severe look from Hermione that clearly says 'shut up!'*}  
  
How tall is Gilderoy Lockhart? With or without the 3 foot platforms bewitched to look like regular shoes?  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite music? Muggle polka music  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's "#1 fan"? Him? Have fans? HA! Anybody who's a fan of him has got to be the thickest git ever! {Ok, so mum's a big fan. . .so's Hermine. . . but what they don't know can't hurt them, I suppose. . . }  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's ideal Saturday night? Staring into a mirror  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's most prized possession? His brain. . . its vdery small, and he loses it often  
  
When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be? His birthday is February the 39th, and his ideal gift would be spork for variouse reasons.  
  
{HA, can't wait till he reads this! I wonder if he'll ask who the person was that wrote it?} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~  
Author's note: So, what did you think? Was it funny, or incredibly stupid? Review! This was originally supposed to be the last one in my series, but I'm going to do Malfoy, and maybe Crabbe or Goyle (Not both, though..they would be so alike) Can you think of any other's that I could do? The post it in your review!! 


	5. SnidgetAde: The Quidditch Player's choic...

AN: I'm sorry!!! I know its been ever so long since I updated!! I've just been reeeaaaallllyyyy swamped with school work, and I've also been a bit lazy. . . PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!! Oh, I know I was going to Draco next, but I decided to go with everybody's fave Quidditch hottie, Oliver Wood! Hehehe!! Yeah, I don't think its as good as the others, but hey, at least you get a chapter!! Am I right?? Lol, I'll try to update another chappie this weekend, cuz it's a 3 day weekend!! Yay!!! But I might not be able to. . . *cries* Oh, and (( ))'s are AN's, { }'s are Oliver's thought, yada yada yada. Oh, before I go. . . 29 DAYS UNTILL HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOEIX COMES OUT!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Magical Me, a test on Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
Name: Oliver Wood  
  
House: Gryffindor  
  
{You know, I used to think Lockhart was a rather thick git.but I read through his test, and HE LIKES QUIDDITCH!!!!! So, he must be wicked!!!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color? {Well, from his build, I'd say he'd be a chaser. . . .and chasers handle the quaffle, which is red!!} Red  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition? To play professional Quidditch for London {Oh, wait, isn't that my secret ambition? Oh well, great minds think alike, as I always say!} (A/N: Erm, Ollie, it's not exactly a secret ambition. . . . . .)  
  
What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date? {Well, since this man is obviously a Quidditch man, I'd say he beat some wicked record!} He beat a Quidditch record  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite animal? The Golden Snidget! {*sniff* I always get teary when I think of this wonderful, endangered animal. . . .without it, we wouldn't have the snitch, or the seeker! *bursts into tears, and gets a few odd looks from his classmates*}  
  
How many times has Gilderoy Lockhart won the Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award? {The what???} 3 times  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's shoe size? {A chaser must have small feet!!!} 7  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's preferred type of quill? {Who cares about a quill? Why isn't this "What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Quidditch foul"????} Just a regular one  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book? Quidditch through the Ages {What else?? That one was sooo obvious. . . . .}  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite author? {Well, considering what his favorite book is. . . .} Kennilworthy Whisp  
  
Which was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite book to write? {Has he written any Quidditch books? No? That's a shame. . . . . .} Travels With Trolls  
  
How old is Gilderoy Lockhart? 37  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite relative? {Well, I'm sure he has this wicked uncle who plays professional Quidditch, and first introduced Quidditch to him as a small child. . . . .} His Uncle, who plays professional Quidditch, and first introduced Quidditch to him as a small child (A/N: Um, if it were me, I would have written something a little less exact. . . . .but to each his own, I suppose. . . .)  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's house elf named? {Well, if I had a house elf, I'd name it after a Quidditch ball. . . .} Bludger  
  
What is the name of Gilderoy Lockhart's cat? {Well, if I had a cat, I'd name it after a Quidditch ball. . . . .} Quaffle  
  
Why did Gilderoy Lockhart choose this name? Because he loves Quidditch!  
  
Where is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite vacation spot? {Well, MY favorite vacation spot is anywhere where the World Cup is being held!!!!} Wherever the Quidditch World Cup is being held this year  
  
Where does Gilderoy Lockhart call home? London  
  
Where did Gilderoy Lockhart go to school? {Well, he obviously would have chosen the school with the best Quidditch program. . . .WHICH IS NOT DURMSTRANG, KRUM WAS JUST A BLOODY FLUKE!} Hogwarts! ((A/N: I know that the Trio didn't find out about Krum until the 4th book, but Oliver would have probably found out a lot sooner. . . . .))  
  
Which house was he in? {A man of his greatness would have been in the best house!} Gryffindor  
  
Which house does he feel he should have been in and why? {Well, of course he would have felt that he should have been in Gryffindor. . . and he was!} Gryffindor  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's name? {Um. . . .I dunno. . .} Debby  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's mother's maiden name? {er. . .} Johnson  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's father's name? {Who cares? Let's get to the Quidditch questions!!!} Frank  
  
Who cuts Gilderoy Lockhart's hair? {If I were a truly great Quidditch player, what would I use to cut my hair? Er. . . Oh!} An enchanted Bludger  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Greek god? Hermes, messenger of the Gods! {Sure, he had the winged shoes, but he would have been so much cooler if he had a broom. . .}  
  
Which is the most frightening magical creature, in Gilderoy Lockhart's opinion? An Ashwinder {Who wouldn't fear something that could set your broom on fire?!?!?!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's wand length? {Who cares?} 11 inches  
  
What type of wood is used in Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? {again, who cares about his wand. . . .why can't we be talking about brooms???} Oak  
  
What is the magical core of Gilderoy Lockhart's wand? A single golden snidget feather  
  
What was Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite school subject? {Oh, yeah, I wonder. . . . .so many of these questions are obvious. . . .} Quidditch {what else would it be?}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite mode of travel? {Hmm, let's think. . . .THE MANS A BLOODY QUIDDITCH FANATIC!} Broomstick  
  
What position does Gilderoy Lockhart play in Quidditch? {A man of his build is definitely a chaser, no doubt!} Chaser  
  
What broom model does Gilderoy Lockhart have? A Nimbus 2001 {of course!}  
  
Who was Gilderoy Lockhart's first love? {Quidditch!!!! Wait, it said 'who', not 'what'. . . . .er. . . . .oh!! Shelly Clarks, only THE best keeper the Harpies have ever seen!!!} Shelly Clarks  
  
What happened to Gilderoy Lockhart's true love? {This story always brings tears to my eyes. . . . .*sniff*} She took a nasty bludger to the head, and the medi-wizards couldn't save her. {Waaaaaah!!!}  
  
What inspired Gilderoy Lockhart to dedicate his life to stopping the Dark Arts? {er. . . . .oh, I think I know!} He went to a Quidditch game, and one team's mascot was the manticore, and it killed 7 witches and wizards.  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's natural hair color? Blonde {His hair's as gold as a snitch, it is!}  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? {*rolls eyes* this is too obvious. . . . .} National Quidditch day  
  
Why is this Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite holiday? Because he loves Quidditch!  
  
What strange feat can Gilderoy Lockhart do with his tongue? {What would be a really cool, Quidditch related (AN: Because of course it has to do with Quidditch. . .) thing you could do with your tongue??? Oh!!!!!) He can catch a snitch with it!! (AN: *snorts*)  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite drink? Snidget-Ade, the Quidditch player's choice!  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite food? Anything with protein, to build up his strength for Quidditch!  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite candy? {*sighs* I wish their were a Quidditch based candy . . . } Sugar Quills  
  
What color are Gilderoy Lockhart's eyes? ((AN: As red as a bludger. . . )) {Er, I dunno. . .} Brown  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite Quidditch team? {QUIDDITCH!!!!!!!!} The team of his deceased love, The Holyhead Harpies!  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's idol? {The late, great} "Dangerous" Dai Llewellyn  
  
What type of spell is Gilderoy Lockhart famous for? I've heard he's rather good at enchanting bludgers to do what they do  
  
In what town did Gilderoy Lockhart cure a werewolf? {Er. . .} Frankfurt, Germany  
  
How tall is Gilderoy Lockhart? Around 6 feet 3 inches, I'd say  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite music? {Er. . . . .who cares?} ?  
  
Who is Gilderoy Lockhart's "#1 fan"? {Hmmm. . . .his number one fan?? No  
idea. . . .} His mum  
  
What I Gilderoy Lockhart's ideal Saturday night? PLAYING QUIDDITCH!!!  
  
What is Gilderoy Lockhart's most prized possession? His Nimbus 2001 broomstick!  
  
When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be? His birthday is {erm. . .} February 28th, and his ideal gift would be any Quidditch related material!  
  
Author's Note: So, you like? You no like? You laughing, you crying?  
Whatever it is, just press that little magical purple box under this  
message, and TELL ME!!! Getting nice reviews make me very happy ^_^! But  
feel free to flame me if you must. . .but if you do flame me, you might  
get a little envelope in the mail containing undiluted bobatuber pus. . .  
*evil laugh* Bwahahahaha!!! Lol, sorry. . . 


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